Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
