he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
