i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ketchup is God's man juice
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
