ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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