the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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