when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
