tell your sister to shave her snatch
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
