i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
