Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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