Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
