I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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