don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
