her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
