Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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