I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
