No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
