Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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