just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
