I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
