It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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