"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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