he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
