Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
