There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
