Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
