better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
