Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
