i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
