Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
