Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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