Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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