omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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