Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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