U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I didn't notice because vodka
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
