I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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