Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
