She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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