Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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