I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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