Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
