Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
