I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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