I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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