3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
