What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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