Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
