just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
