All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
