Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
