I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think my nap took me to another dimension
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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