He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
