Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
