Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
